Naturally, because I'm in the business of raising and educating children, I think about the development of children a lot. And I have to tell you, I cringe when I hear talk of "typical teenage behavior" as if they are locked into a certain behavior because of they are "teenagers." Give me a break. I mean, are teenagers really trapped into teenage behavior?? Are they victims to the adolescent years or are they simply rising "up" (ha-ha) to the expectations put upon them as poor victimized teenagers? Please. I don't buy it.
Before I really get heady about my feelings on this, I want to talk briefly about a sweet friend of mine from Sudan, Africa. She got me thinking again on this subject. As I've listened to my beautiful African friend express her feelings of America's corruption on children, I've been intrigued with the contrast she sees in Africa. There is no such thing as "typical teenage behavior" in Sudan. She tells me of the level of respect children have for their elders. They obey and trust in their wisdom. The children know how to work and serve. They aren't self-absorbed or rebellious. Hum. Sound mystical?? Isn't it sad that Americans can only imagine!
I cringed just the other day when I heard a lady say (in sacrament meeting, mind you) that she LIKES when a teenager challenges her. She says she likes that teenagers don't obey without questioning. I agree that we should be seeking answers and finding out truth for ourselves but we can do that without being defiant to leadership or questioning authority or feeling we know better than those over us or always thinking in terms of "what's in it for me?" This attitude is all about us in the I-deserve and I'm-entitled mentality of our society.
So, my question is: Is this teenage mentality learned or is it really hopelessly innate? Let me quote to you some of the gems of understanding in the book referred to above (You've really gotta read it!):
"In order to understand the modern 'teenager' concept, we have to go back in time only a hundred years. At that time, right around the year 1900, a cascade of labor- and school-reform laws were passed in an attempt to protect kids from the harsh conditions in factories. These laws were good because conditions had been brutal, and children's health and education suffered. Unfortunately, the laws had some unintended and far-reaching consequences. By completely removing children from the workplace and mandating school attendance through high school, teens' once-established role as key producers and contributors came to an end. (Insert: The book notes several examples of teenagers who, prior to this time, were major contributors to society.) Suddenly [the "teenagers'"] role was almost exclusively that of consumers.
"Young people were suddenly stuck in a poorly defined category between childhood and adulthood. Young men and women [wanting to contribute to society] were discouraged. Instead, the 'teenager' was invented--a young person with most of the desires and abilities of an adult but few of the expectations or responsibilities" (Alex and Brett Harris, Do Hard Things, p. 34-5).
I love the little quiz the authors ("teenage" boys, by the way) invite us to take. Because I have quoted them already, you'll have an "in" on the correct answer:
"When was the first documented use of the word teenager used?
(a) Tyndale's first edition English New Testament in 1526.
(b) Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet in 1623.
(c) Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac in 1739.
(d) Theodore Roosevelt's Strenuous Life speech in 1899.
(e) A Reader's Digest issue in 1941.
(f) Alex and Brett (the authors) made it up for this book.
"The answer is (e). That's right, the word teenager has been around for less than seventy years.
"Prior to the early twentieth century and really, throughout history, people were either children or adults" (ibid, p. 29-30). (There's so much more evidence I'm not including...)
So what have we done with this socially-accepted concept of teenagers? We've lowered our expectations of them and then we've scratched our heads and wondered at their lack of direction, motivation, and performance!
Still unsure? Surely you've heard of studies done where teachers are given classes of average students but are told one group is exceptionally "bright" and the other group is "slow." The results? The studies show that the students start to believe the labels placed on them and begin to "live up" or "down" to the expectations. It's called self-fulfilling prophesy. We all know that. The problem is the expectations on teenagers in our society is typically about as high as the floor...
What is happening to this teenage phenomenon? It has started to expand! We are finding more and more of these "kids" who cannot "jump out" of the it's-all-about-me/consumer role. In 2005, Time magazine gave this new breed the name "kidults"--those in their mid- to late twenties and beyond who offer convincing evidence that adolescence is a cultural mind-set, not a biological stage.
Continuing from the Harris's book: "When we understand the power of expectations, we begin to understand why things have changed so dramatically and why our culture has bought into the Myth of Adolescence--without even realizing that it doesn't have to be true....
"What we find [in the scriptures] is clear evidence that God does not hold two standards: one for young adults and one for adults. He has high expectations for both. . . . Where our culture might expect little, God expects great things" (ibid, p. 41, 42).
So the question is: Are we going to strive to raise up our youth by God's expectations and standards or are we going to allow ourselves (and our children) to get swallowed up in the philosophies of men? Hum. Satan or God? It's tough in a society wallowing in ugly misconceptions and convincing philosophies. BUT I'm going to give God's ways my all in raising my little clan UP to eternally great things!
I'll pray for you; you pray for me!
