Here is the talk I gave in stake conference a few Sundays ago:
In Kirtland, Ohio, on December 16, 1833, Joseph Smith said: "This one thing is sure, that they who will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution, and before their robes are made white in the blood of the Lamb, it is to be expected, according to John the Revelator, they will pass through great tribulation."
So when these trials come, as Joseph Smith said they will for all who live godly in Christ, what is our charge?
Our charge is that we must FORGIVE those who hurt, wrong, or misunderstand us.
How do we do that? And why is it so important for us to forgive others?
The answers to these two questions are contained in Mark 11:25: "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
There it is: We learn in this scripture that if we want God’s mercy, we must have mercy on others. How short I fall and am in such need of His mercy! If I am to obtain that, I must forgive those who trespass against me. We also learn in this scripture that prayer is needed in our efforts to forgive.
A few years ago, I had a great charge to forgive, lest my soul became bitter and cankered by some difficult and traumatic circumstances. I soon discovered that it was beyond my gritted teeth, clenched fist, natural-man abilities, for so deep was the pain. I poured out my soul to the Lord.
One day as I was reading Moroni 7, I was reminded that ALL good things come from Christ. I realized that meant even the ability to forgive. As I prayerfully pled with my Father to help me let go and forgive, I became so amazed with the process of HOW He healed my soul. It was a slow process—sometimes creating a holding place for forgiveness can take a long time—but with time and great effort it happened. As He went to work softening my heart and healing my soul, He did so, in part, by leading me to some of the following scriptures and insights:
The story in John 8 taught me about some powerful attributes of the Savior. Through this story, I learned that Jesus did not want to call others in their sins. He wasn’t confrontational. He wasn’t revengeful. He rejoiced not in iniquity but had pure charity.
In John 8, we read: “The scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery, and when they had set her in the midst, they said unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?” (John 8:3-5).
Notice how Jesus responds to this: “But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger, wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not” (John 8:6). What is he saying by this action? “I don’t want to be involved in this. I’m giving you a chance to just go away. I have no desire to exult in the sins of others.” There is a world of discomfort we sense in those words, “as though he heard them not.” He did not wish to judge. He says so himself at the end of this story when He said, “I judge no man” (verse 15).
Yet, His accusers won’t let Jesus off the hook. “When they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). He seems be saying, if you are going to judge, judge yourself; “And again, he stooped down, and wrote on the ground” (John 8:8). I don’t think he even wanted to judge her accusers but he definitely turned their thoughts to themselves. Later, after the accusers left, he said to her, “Where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more” (John 8:10-11).
The Joseph Smith Translation adds this interesting phrase: “And the woman glorified God from that hour, and believed on his name” (JST, John 8:11*).
Condemnation often brings alienation and deepens movement into sin. Jesus gave an invitation out of sin because he didn’t dwell on it. There was no stinging condemnation in his voice, perhaps not even the hint of disappointment, just pure and open love. (Adapted from “The Jesus We Need to Know,” by S. Michael Wilcox.)
This story helps me remember that I don’t really know another’s heart. I am definitely not without sin and it is never my place to judge another’s heart. I have learned over the years that sometimes people sin or make mistakes not because they are necessarily evil or bad but because they are weak—they are tired, or stressed, or sick—or they have poor judgment or lack experience or a myriad of other reasons unbeknownst to me. I know that I definitely fall into that category at times. Therefore, I rejoice in what we learn in D&C 137:9: “For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.”
Sometimes we desire to do what is right but we falter because we are human. We all need the Atonement, Christ’s merciful intervention, to be saved. Understanding this principle has greatly increased my empathy and has caused me to want to run to the rescue of others. It has helped soften my heart to be more accepting and less judgmental.
President Monson once quoted Mother Teresa, saying: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
We CAN love others! We must love others! We can replace hate with love through the gifts of the Spirit. President Eyring teaches us that prayer is the ticket: “Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in [others]. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make [others’] joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of [others].”
I know from personal experience that obtaining a desire to replace hate, or apathy, or distain with love takes deep humility. President Spencer W. Kimball addresses how we develop such humility: “How does one get humility? To me, one must constantly be reminded of his dependence. On whom [is he] dependent? On the Lord. How [does one] remind [him]self? By real, constant, worshipful, grateful prayer” (Humility, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 16 Jan. 1963], pp. 2-3).
It comes down to how we pray—how real, how constant, how worshipful, and how grateful our prayers are!
President Boyd K. Packer said, “When I hear you say, ‘I can’t! I can’t solve my problems!’ I want to thunder out, ‘Don’t you realize who you are? Haven’t you learned yet that you are a son or daughter of Almighty God? Do you not know that there are powerful resources inherited from Him that you can call upon to give you steadiness, courage, and great power?”
Hymn 285 has become my personal motto. Sometimes I replace the word “Saints” with my name ((I keep the word "ye" in for humor!)):
Ye fearful Saints
Fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy
And shall break
With blessings on your head.
It is my witness that the Lord indeed knows the way up and He knows the way out. I have put that to the test again and again. He has never failed me, only delayed my deliverances. I have become grateful for those painful, stretching delays because they have brought me to my knees and taught me of my absolute dependence upon my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my salvation, my God, my King. I will stay with Him to the bitter end, or should I say the glorious end, for surely I know it will be with Him at my head!
*This reference is not found in the standard works. It is found in The Complete Joseph Smith Translation of the New Testament.
