I am pasting a picture of the Peacemaking Pyramid that perhaps cannot be completely understood until the book is read and comprehended but it gives an idea of how we obtain peace and help things to go right or correct things when they do go wrong.
It is crucial to understand three things in this pyramid:
1) Most time and effort should be spent in the lower levels of the pyramid. When we actively live these lower levels of the pyramid, we find that we spend less time on correction.
2) The solution to a problem at one level of the pyramid is always BELOW that level of the pyramid. This is contradictory to what we usually do. Often, if something is going wrong, we continue to do what we have done before. The book says, "[Often] when our correction isn't working, we normally bear down harder and correct more. And when our teaching is going poorly, we often try to rescue it by talking more and insisting more. That is, we drone on in an attempt to correct the problem we have created by droning on!...If I am correcting but problems remain, that is a clue that the solution to the problem I am facing will not be found in further correction. Likewise with teaching. And if I listen and learn, even going so far as to revise my opinions, but problems persist, perhaps what I need to do is go out and engage with others personally. Maybe I need to increase my efforts to build relationships both with those I am dealing with and with others who deal with them."
3) Ultimately, my effectiveness at each level of the pyramid depends on the deepest level of the pyramid-my way of being. The book mainly deals with the bottom level--obtaining a heart of peace. It explains why: "I can put all the effort I want into trying to build my relationships but if I am in the box (have a heart at war) while I am doing it, it won't help much. If I'm in the box while I'm trying to learn, I'll only end up hearing what I want to hear. And if I'm in the box while I'm trying to teach, I'll invite resistance in all who listen...My effectiveness in everything above the lowest level of the pyramid depends on the lowest level."
Ultimately, a heart at peace cannot be faked. The truth is, we respond to the way people FEEL about us and visa versa. Think about it. We know if someone REALLY cares and sees us as an equal. It is that that we and others often respond to. A heart at peace invites and encourages others to also have a peaceful, open heart.
